Summer

Life is full of transitions. We just ended Ella's first year of elementary school at Varieur. She is excelling in reading and won awards this year for her determination and focus in reading. I am so incredibly proud because she did it all by herself. We didn't read a lot to you when you were little. I mean we read at least a book a day but some families read 10 to 20 books a day. So Ella really should have all of the credit for her persistence. Sidney finished in Mr. Mark's class at the YMCA and is now in Mrs. Lisa's class. He is starting to learn his letters. His soul is old and kind. Both of you light up a room when you walk into it. You are not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside too. Ella is now in summer camp at Camp JORI (She just turned 6 yrs old). This is your second year at the Day Camp and you love it. I wish I could sneak in there and see how much fun you are having. I love seeing you smile. Sidney is at camp at the YMCA this summer. Mommy is working part time at the VNA Care New England doing hospice chaplaincy. I am driving all around the state visiting with families and patients in their homes. It is truly humbling work and I wish I could sometimes offer them more than my presence or listening. I magic wand perhaps to take away their pain? Daddy and I are still working on the details of finalizing our divorce. I know it has been hard for everyone and I hope you know that we are doing everything we can to remain kind, loving and supportive of our family - even if it is different than how it originally started. We are dedicated to giving you all that we possibly can because we love you and we are honored to be your parents. xo Mommy

Little Things About Me

Little Things About Me... I love watching movie trailers. If I am bored at home - I watch them...and I never miss them before a movie. I love the nachos in the movie theater. They are so seductive with the gooey cheese - and make such a mess...incredible fun. One of my favorite meal is the cassoulet at Chez Pascal a delicious French restaurant here. They only make it when the leaves have fallen off the trees. I like to do random acts of kindness for people. I love to sing. Really sing out loud - especially in the car. And I love to dance - I used to have dance parties with the kids all of the time...multiple times a week - I miss them. I don't believe in strangers. I believe they are just people I haven't met yet. My Grandfather - Sidney - was the love of my life. I used to have breakfast with him every Friday when I lived in Dallas. He taught me how to be a good person. I had a teacher once tell me that people notice me when I walk into a room without me having to say anything. I often wonder if she told me that so I wouldn't talk so much in class. I have a tremendous amount of love to give but get scared when it is expected. I have incredible girlfriends who support me through everything. They are from many different times/parts of my life but they are my pillars of strength. I can count on so many of them. I sometimes have a hard time asking for help. Makes me feel weak. But this isn't true. When I write, I wear a grey sweater that keeps me warm. I know how to do transcendental meditation. I wish I practiced this everyday. My first cats were named Fudge and LP I pray - for myself, for others. I pray when I hear an ambulance or see a fire truck. I pray for their health and for their families' comfort. I think I am more beautiful now than when I was younger. This blog is only for Ella and Sidney.

Kindness

Last night, Ella and I went to a birthday party at Monkey Joe's - at 5:30 pm. On the way there, Audrey's mom (Kaydie McQuade) and I were bemoaning going to a party at 5:30 on a Friday...who does that? Well we were wrong, and it turned out to be a really fun experience for both of us. The best part for me, was watching Ella (and Audrey) interact with one of her classmates. This little girl, Teegan, was born at 26 weeks (I think). She recently came off a trach and eats through a feeding tube mostly. She is mainly in a wheelchair at school. But all of those little facts, did not compare to the love and friendship Ella has with her. Ella wanted to go down the slide with her, bounce in the bounce houses with her and have Teegan sit next to her during cake and pizza. She is so acutely aware of her presence and making sure she is included - that is truly brought tears to my eyes. She doesn't see Teegan as a girl with special needs, she sees Teegan as a little girl with needs - just like Ella has and just like Audrey - to be included, loved and cared for. To bear witness to my daughter give all of those gifts to her was truly a gift for me as a mother. I don't always know if what I do is working, but yesterday, I saw what a remarkable and kind person Ella is and for that I have no complaints - only gratitude. Love, Mommy

Who am I? I wanted to start a list of things that make me happy....It is about 30 days until Thanksgiving, so I thought it would be fun to write down some things that make me thankful...in no particular order. 1. Feeling loved 2. Ella 3. Sidney 4. Flash Mobs 5. Random Acts of Kindness 6. Surprise Travel 7. Exercising 8. Bowling 9. Watching Movie Trailers 10. Dessert 11. Prayer 12. Being with Friends Who Truly Understand You 13. Hot tea 14. Dance Parties in the Kitchen 15. Being a Mom 16. Being a Chaplain 17. Being a Good Friend 18. Rap Music 19. Other Languages 20. Cooking/Baking for People 21. Warm and Loving Home 22. Making challah 23. Lighting the Shabbat candles 24. Walks in the woods with Ella and Sidney 25. Sitting quietly on the beach - listening to the waves 26. Your father - he is a wonderful man 27. Getting lost in a book 28. Being a part of a community 29. Silence 30. Chaos What would you write? It is important to have this reminder every once in a while and good to reflect on when you forget. Love you. Mommy

The Start of Fall

My favorite season is the fall. The leaves start to turn, the air is crisp, we go apple picking and we get a chance to reflect on the past year. We are very lucky to be Jewish - there are many reasons. One of them is the opportunity to start new during Rosh Hashanah. This past weekend, you both helped me make 6 round challahs with raisins. You are fabulous bakers and the challahs will taste more delicious because you both used your hearts when you were baking. That is key!! Ella is starting school this Tuesday, September 3, 2013. You will begin kindergarten in a new school. I am so excited for this new chapter in your life. You will meet new friends and they will be with you for the next 6 years in elementary school. There will be people that will change you in ways you could never imagine. This summer you were at Camp JORI. You took the van with Carlos and Erin every day. You had sleepovers on Thursdays at the camp with many campers that were older than you. I am so amazed by how brave you are. You embrace life as a series of adventures - always excited about the next one. My wish for you this year is for me to help you be in the moment. I think I have started to teach you to always look ahead and while that is helpful in life, you miss out on so much when you don't celebrate the here and now. Sidney is starting Child's Play Toddler class with Ms. Debbie. Daddy is going to be in the classroom with you. This is such a fun preschool and you will also meet so many new friends that will teach you and help you as you continue to learn. This summer you were at the YMCA with Mr. Mark. You had a hard time separating in the morning from Daddy but in the afternoons, you were all smiles when we picked you up. And you always say at dinner time that being picked up by daddy was your favorite part of the day. And this summer, I finished my first unit of CPE. It was challenging, scary and incredibly rewarding. I am so grateful that all of you were so supportive of my desire to give back in a meaningful way to our community. The beauty of this work is that I am more fulfilled and hopefully, will pass this gift on to you. Always follow your heart. It will take you places that will transform your soul. I love you both. Happy New Year 5774. May this year be filled with sweetness and good health for everyone you know. Love, Mommy

Summer

The sun is rising outside and everyone is still tucked in their beds. It is incredibly peaceful and quiet. The summer has started and you have all been so amazing. I started back at school about a month ago. I am at the hospital studying to become a hospital chaplain and I am there full time. Everyone has been so supportive - especially your daddy. Sidney is at the YMCA in Pawtucket. Ella just finished preschool, you turned 5 years old! and you are starting camp next week at Camp JORI. I am so excited and nervous for you. We are going to put you on a bus at the JCC and they will drive you to the camp everyday. What an adventure! I love you and I wanted to say I love you and thank You for giving me the strength to start something new. You are my source of spirit. My life is fuller, happier and filled with love because of the both of my sweet children. (and daddy). I love you, Mommy

2013 - A Year of New Beginnings

It's amazing to me that we are already into 2013 and so many new beginnings are on the horizon for our family and our friends. This past week we registered Ella for kindergarten and Sidney made pee pee on the potty for the first time. They say that the time goes fast when you guys are little and it's true. The time is going by so quickly for me. The week was really hard for me emotionally - registering Ella was a new milestone in our lives and one that only will happen once for her and for us. Entering elementary school is a whole new wonderful experience that will be filled with good days, bad days, new friends, teachers and learning - but not just about English, Science or Geography, Ella is going to be learning about the world through the people in her classes and their families' lives. I hope you will invite them into our home, your home. And share with them our life and let them know that this is a safe place for them to come if they ever lose their way. Other new beginnings (and chapters closing): Passover at our house - Gabriel and Uncle Philip are coming in a few weeks Ella graduating from Child's Play in May Ella going to summer day camp at Moses Brown with 5, 6, 7 and 8 yr olds! Sidney going to Child's Play in September Mommy going to start her first unit of Chaplaincy at the hospital in May Sarah Jagger having a baby in August Aunt Lizzy having a baby (shhh! it's still a secret) And so much more.... As we prepare in our house for Passover, I am grateful for the freedom that we have to celebrate these new beginnings together. I am blessed that we will have our family and friends in our home to retell the story of our Exodus and how we worked together to protect our Jewish faith. It's a gift - our traditions - I am so honored to pass them on to Ella and Sidney. From generation to generation takes on new meaning when 3 generations will be at our table for Pesach. No words can express my gratitude at this moment. I love you always, Mommy