Ella Says...

Ella: "Mommy, I want to watch Fresh Beat Band." Mommy: "Ella, you have an episode of Fresh Beat Band saved on the DVR. Push the DVR button on the remote and you will find it." Ella: "Mommy, how do you spell DVR? Love you Ella!!!

Adventures Together

We just returned to Rhode Island after a 12 day last minute trip to Dallas, Texas. You both were unbelievable travelers. Ella - you were so hopeful and kept a very important secret before we left for Texas. The purpose of our trip was to surprise Gronni for her 65th birthday and Barbara for her 60th birthday. When you opened the door at Aunt Irene's house for Gronni, she was so surprised and excited to see you. She told us it was the best gift she had ever received! You and your brother bring so much light to people's world and I am so blessed to share that with our family and friends. Barbara was also excited to see you both. It is so nice to hug and kiss on you in person - Skype just isn't the same. I can't wait to go on more adventures with you. Your inner light shines everywhere you go. It is such a gift that you have and you are both so generous to share it with everyone who crosses your paths. I love you. Mommy

Enough Love to Go Around

Everyday, you both never cease to amaze me. Ella - you wake up and get dressed and first thing you do after that is help your brother. Sidney - we go downstairs for breakfast, if I hand you a piece of bread, you insist on getting one for Ella too. Or if I hand you a frozen yogurt, you demand one for Ella too. You are both so loving to one another - make each other laugh, hug one another when you hurt the others' feelings, and make sure the other is never left behind. In a few days, we will find out if we are going to be adding another member to our family. If we are, this is one lucky baby to have such loving siblings. I love you, Mommy

25 Things I Want My Son To Know

Borrowed from the Good Sons Project - Tom Matlack 1. It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one. 2. Find the people who make you laugh and follow them around like a golden retriever. Laughing is like a vitamin. You can never get enough of it. 3. A guy who hugs a lot is comfortable in his own skin. 4. Read poetry. 5. There’s nothing wrong with looking at porn, but having sex with someone you care about is a thousand times more fun. 6. When you feel like crying, for joy or out of pain, let 'er rip. If you don’t get those tears out, they will calcify in your chest and make it harder to love as fully and deeply as you would like to. 7. Crank the tunes when you have to clean the house. 8. Look deeply into the eyes of the one you are falling for to get a glimpse of his or her soul. 9. Spend a chunk of time every year with people who are much less fortunate than you are. It will fill your heart with gratitude. 10. Never lie about anything really important. The first lie will cause you to have to lie again and again to cover up the truth. And each time you’ll chip away an important piece of yourself. 11. Find work that makes you happy. If you can change the world in the process all the better. 12. If you get the chance to travel across the country or across the globe, take it. You will learn way more from people who are different from you than the ones who are the same. 13. Doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. But you are going to make mistakes. Tons of them. The real question is what you will learn from them. 14. Don’t be in any rush to get married. Divorce really sucks. A good marriage can start when you’re 21 or 61. 15. There’s nothing wrong with a Cuban cigar once in a while. 16. Money and power look good, but they won’t fill your being with joy the way your family will. 17. If you like guys, I will fight for your ability to have equal rights in every way. 18. Find a way to move your body that gives you pleasure. You don’t have to be an athlete to be a man, but your body is a temple and you need to care for it, enjoy it, and use it to express yourself. 19. Drinking can be fun in moderation. Just make sure to ask for help if you find yourself blacking out or doing things you regret. 20. Radical honesty will get you very far in this world. Most people don’t have the guts to speak their mind, regardless of the consequences. 21. Always give your spouse birthday presents in bed. 22. Find a spirituality that you can wear like a loose coat that keeps you warm no matter the weather. God should provide you comfort not make you feel ashamed of yourself. 23. Sex is great but holding your spouse in the middle of the night is one of the best feelings any guy can have. 24. Live passionately. Dream big. Don’t back down. 25. Always remember I love you, no matter what happens. You cannot lose me. I will always be there. -- Written by Tom Matlack for The Good Men Project

Summer Lovin'

Hi sweet Ella and Sid. So much has happened over this summer. Sidney is running. Ella turned 4 yrs old on June 10th! We had a really fun time celebrating with an Olympics themed party! Everyone had such a blast. We went to New Hampshire twice - where we hiked, went canoeing, visited Storyland and Santa's Village. You both traveled so beautifully and were ready for new adventures around every corner. I was so proud to explore and learn with you. Soon your dad and I will celebrate our 5 year anniversary - August 26th. It's incredible how life has gone by so quickly over these years. We are two lucky parents to have inspiring, polite and happy children. We love you with all of our hearts. In a few weeks you are both starting school - Ella in Preschool at Child's Play and Sidney at Mother's Morning Out. I can't wait to see how you both continue to grow and amaze me. 

I love you,
Mommy

Judging a Mother

I just had a wonderful lesson about judging people - particularly a fellow mother. I notice that if there are kids that overwhelm me or that I feel aren't nice to Ella or Sid, I don't make play dates with them. Or I try to avoid them altogether. And I judge the parents - "they are inconsistent", "they don't discipline", "they need to do something different" - but today - I got a taste of my own medicine when Ella hit someone. I wasn't in the room - I don't think Ella did it on purpose, but the other child was upset. And the mom asked me "Isn't she too old to be hitting?" "When is she going to grow out of it?" "She must have hit him hard to make my son cry!" - I was furious. I held it in as best as I could and asked the other mom "How do you want me to respond to you?"

I try really hard to teach both of you to be polite, respectful, and kind.

Rome wasn't built in a day, so I know in my heart that kids don't come out of the womb acting this way. It is up to me, your dad and the entire community to help you be lovely adults. And the next time I pass judgement on another parent, I will do my best to be part of the solution and help and not judge.

Everyone Has A Story - Entry #2

I don't know if you will ever get to know the person before I was known as "wife" or "mommy". But that person didn't have the strength that I do today. I was born to parents on the verge of divorce. My sister and I lived with a single mom (Gronni) who worked night and day to support us. She did her best. Being a mom is not easy and doing it alone is unimaginable. I tried to have a smiling face all the time - my sister, Aunt Jamie, probably witnessed a lot more anger and sadness in our house and I think I felt I had to be the "happy one". That eventually caught up to me and the facade was broken by sadness and an attempt to take my own life at the age of 17 yrs.

But you wouldn't know any of those things about me without your mommy sharing this with you. And I do share this with you because EVERYONE HAS A STORY. From the pretty girl to the handsome boy, to the poor family to the wealthy family, to the doctor, to the gardener, to the person at the toll booth. They all have been on a journey that we don't know anything about. We may run into them when they are having a good day, or we may be the one that smiles at them and brings a bit of joy to their rotten day.

I hope that when you run into someone, whether on purpose, like meeting up with a friend, or colliding with a complete stranger, that you leave them with your love, support, smile and kindness. You never know the impact you are making on that one person. 

To My Children

Our Family 2012

Dear Ella and Sidney,

My Life Lesson #1 - First Entry
I don't want to wait until something happens before I start sharing with you my dreams for you both. It seems like we all create a bucket list when we find out our life is coming to an end, but why? Why not live your dreams while you can, while you are healthy, capable and can share with everyone around you? I also think people don't share their true feelings about their friends and family. It can lift someone up when you least expect it so always be forthcoming with a kind word. You have the power to change someone's life.

So here is my attempt to tell you how much you mean to me and as I continue to write, I will share with you some of my own dreams. I am so lucky to be on this journey with you and I am honored to be a part of your lives. I love you. - Mommy

I am incredibly blessed to have two amazing children.
Ella - you teach me how to love on a daily basis. Today, I burned my finger on the toaster and without hesitation, you came up to me and hugged my leg. And you didn't let go until I reached down to kiss you and tell you mommy was ok. I am so grateful for your kindness and love. It makes me incredibly proud.

Sidney - you make everyone smile around you with your cute wave hello to everyone. You also make people laugh - even when you are torturing your sister by pulling your hair. She still thinks you are funny. And I have to believe that you get the power of your smile from your namesake. He was a wonderful man, my grandpa Sidney and I miss him everyday. I am so grateful that I can see his spirit live on in you.

I am going to try and write to you both as often as I can. This will be our little secret. My way of giving you a bit of advice - just in case.